A New Beginning:  Life After Divorce 


Source: pixabay.com

A home is only “broken” when healthy family interactions break down: when people stop communicating adequately, behave un-lovingly, or conduct conflict destructively, for example. — Carl E Pickhardt Ph.D.

I used to be a stay-at-home mother of two and a devoted wife.  The first five years of our marriage were the best, but it slowly had gone sour when my husband got his promotion and assigned to visit their offices out of state.   


I was at the pinnacle of my career when I decided to build this family with him.   I admit that he had given me a comfortable life regarding material things, but full of agony and misery.  The relationship was disintegrating and I felt like I was swept away in the darkest corner of my life.  It came to the point where I doubted myself and I felt like I was slowly losing my sanity.  Before that happened, I needed to do something for myself and my kids.   


The day came when I finally found the courage to ask my husband to leave home. I gave him a month to think things over.  But the pain he has caused me and my kids and were too much to bear that I ended up seeing a divorce attorney.   


Source: flickr.com


After the divorce process, I was financially secured with little savings and the support for the kids.  I made sure I had enough in my pocket to take care of the kids until I could be on my feet.   It took me a matter of time to find myself again after all the sorrow and anger, but I had to put everything behind in order to face the future with my kids.   


Starting Over Again 

A year after the divorce, I thought I was ready not just to find a job but my purpose – something that would give my life meaning.  One day, as I was listening to a friend who was under a lot of stress, she praised me for being a good listener and adviser.  It wasn’t the first time I heard such a compliment.   It was then that I gave it a thought, “I can be a life coach.”    


I knew that my passion for helping others was not enough, so I attended training programs and short courses until I earned my certification to become a life coach.   

 Doing positive things with your children is very important, and it doesn’t have to cost a small fortune. Look for activities and events that are inexpensive or free so you can have some nice family and social time. — Barton Goldsmith Ph.D.

Rejections Inspired Me 

It was not an easy journey.  There were many failures and rejections.  It took some time before I earned the trust of my clients.  I needed to continually advance my studies and obtain additional credits to prove myself to people that I was qualified to help those going through rough times and almost facing the end of their marriage to let go and move on.   The time came when I was given a chance to be a family mediator. I could handle cases for couples undergoing divorce but didn’t want to hire the service a lawyer.  I was also writing articles for blogs about marriage and women empowerment.   


I May Not Have Much But I Feel Fulfilled 


Source: goodfreephotos.com


I now have the capability to send my children to school with the money I am earning from my career as a life coach.   I don’t have a big office yet to myself, but I know I will in the future. What matters most to me now is that I am able to raise my kids as good individuals, free them from the distractions and pains brought by our unhealthy relationships. I can help my clients determine where they are in their life now and know where they want to be, and help them achieve it.  I am their advisor and negotiator, and I guide them as they lay out their plans, especially stay-at-home moms like me. I want them to find a fulfilling and good-paying career so that they can provide for their family especially when granted the divorce.  

 You must take care of yourself and heal from your divorce. You’ve got to deal with all the uncomfortable emotions that the end of your marriage has stirred up. — Karen Finn, Ph.D.

Being able to help even those without the capacity to pay delights me.  That’s what I’ve wanted to do, to help disheveled women and those who can’t do anything but cry because they are stuck in a bad situation.  They have been wanting to get out of their crisis but have no means.   


Though not all cases end up well, I still feel fulfilled seeing emotional, physical, and spiritual changes in people (especially women) who used to think that there is no hope to break away from a toxic and damaging relationship.