Nobody ever said that fully owning ourselves and what is best for our own evolution is easy. Nobody ever said that owning our magnificence and our place in the world is easy. — Emma K. Viglucci LMFT
The journey to healing from abuse is a process of self-love and self-respect to be able to revolutionize the way we see and feel about relationships. Going through an abusive relationship can cause trauma, psychologists will agree to this, and it might make us negatively see life. But you are not alone, and you will get through this traumatic phase, and you will realize that though it may be challenging, you can overcome this.
It Is Never Your Fault
When you are in an abusive relationship, your abusive partner might blame you for his violent behavior. Other people will even try to blame you and make it seem like it’s your fault and you have no control over that.
Abuse survivors are often told that they are not enough, or they are not doing enough for their abusive partner. Never blame yourself for the hurt that has been done to you. You are enough. You deserve respect and love. You are perfectly imperfect.
Love Is Not The Issue
You cannot change the way a person treats you, and you cannot have done anything to your abuser that would make him change his mind to stop abusing you. You have to remember this. If a person truly loves and respects you, he will change for himself and you.
Go On And Be Happy
It is your right to be in a happy and healthy relationship full of love and respect for each other. You deserve someone who will never hurt you and abuse you physically and psychologically. Whatever you’ve been through, know that you are worthy of love and respect and happiness and don’t let anything stand in the way of you getting that.
Those who have never been in a domestic violence situation are often perplexed as to how intelligent people become trapped and why they remain with someone who is abusive. — Glyndora Condon LPC
You Are Not Damaged
Healing is a very long process, and it will take time to get over all the traumas you have. There are moments where you remember the terrible things, but it will get more comfortable in time. Remember that you are not “damaged goods” for going through all those horrible things. You are strong and fierce and is worthy of love and respect.
Do Not Justify Your Decisions To Anyone
It’s not easy to make decisions when you are not okay. There can be a vicious cycle of fights and apologies, of wounds and hurtful words, and you can become addicted to the thought that your abuser might change. You don’t have to give people reasons. You are going through enough to even think about their opinions.
Forgive At Your Own Pace
People might tell you to forgive and forget to be able to move forward, but you don’t have to if you cannot do it. It’s not easy to forget about everything done to you by your abuser. You could even suffer from panic attacks and PTSD because of that, so it’s pretty clear that it’s going to be a very hard and long process before you even think about forgiveness. Take your time. Heal yourself first and never worry about being able to forgive your abuser if you feel like he doesn’t deserve it.
It is much easier to forgive someone who didn’t realize they were causing harm than a person who intentionally hurts others. — Melanie Greenberg Ph.D.
Compassion To Your Self First
Again, it is not your fault that you didn’t leave sooner. It’s not your fault for thinking things would be better. But you have to forgive yourself for all the self-blame you have. It was never your fault, and you’ve done everything that you can to have a better relationship with your abuser. That’s how abusers are, and so forgive yourself so you could move forward.
You Were Never The Stupid Or Crazy One
In an abusive relationship, your partner will blame you for everything they do to you. But they are just messing with your head so they can have an excuse to hurt you. But you are not the crazy one here, whatever your partner said. You are the one who wanted a good and healthy relationship, who wanted love, but in return, was physically and emotionally abused.
The World Wants You To Be Happy – You Deserve More
After everything you’ve been through, you deserve better. You deserve the love and the respect you so wanted to receive from your abusive partner. You deserve peace, and you deserve to move on.
Getting Out Of An Abusive Relationship Makes You An Experienced Winner
Nothing is a waste of time. You have learned a lot going through with this relationship, and it is not something to be happy about but be proud of how strong you have become after this. This is a lesson learned that molded you into a better person – a person who loves yourself more, knows your worth, and understands how it is to deserve the best things in life after that violent episode in your life.