Holding on to the past obstructs you of your ability to self-improvement. Not being able to forgive the pain of past relationship will hinder you from moving forward and finding love. Holding a grudge against your boss or a workmate is an obstacle to opening doors for new opportunities.
…Happiness is a choice, an ongoing practice, a part of the Journey, not the destination. — Emma K. Viglucci LMFT
Holding on to the past is just natural for being human but staying there will do you no good for it is not healthy.
I am a software developer, and I have been with my company for eight years. I am confident that I have positioned myself to be eligible for the promotion. But to my dismay, it was my colleague who was promoted. How can I not be hurt and resentful after spending most of my weeks in the office, being helpful to my fellow workers, and do just what my boss asks me?
Grudge Troubles Your Peace And Health
Workplace feud is not just damaging to employees’ morale but can also be detrimental to their health. Research shows that holding grudge increases stress which may cause high blood pressure and heart problems.
Because I was hurt, it is hard to let go of my hatred and anger. I try, but it is a real struggle because of the pain and shame. I could not stop asking myself what mistakes I have done. I try, but it is hard to forget and forgive my workmates, my boss, and everybody else. I stopped being energetic, helpful, and just started working on whatever I can do for the day. No more overtime, no more extra free working hours, no longer do I volunteer myself to work on weekends for doing so did not get me promoted. I just stayed home on weekends, and it made me sad. What happened made me feel unimportant and incapable. Depression sunk in and ate me whole. What happened affected the way I look at myself, my relationship with my co-workers, and my effectivity at my work.
Think about it: A lack of healthy self-love leaves us feeling ashamed and alone. Over time, a lack of self-love can lead to depression, anxiety, loneliness, and a sense of emptiness. — Ida Khamesy, MA, LMFT
Letting Go Is Never Easy
It is even more frustrating, as I know that I was not this close-minded before. I was always someone who was fully aware that letting go and moving on is important because I believe more opportunities will come my way. But when it happens to you, it is hard not to suffer. My pain, resentment, and anger tied me down. Letting go may be essential to self-improvement and advancement but is hard. The idea on my mind is hard to practice; it is just hard to let go and move on.
Staying this way is not healthy for me, I have to think of ways to get past this feeling.
How To Let Go
Think about how stressed and lonely you have been since the unwanted news reached you. Tell yourself you do not deserve to feel or suffer that way.
Recognize what you feel. If you want to let go, you must first recognize your feeling. Do not deny your feelings. Instead, give them a chance to exist in your life. You can never let go of something you do not think exists.
Refrain from feeling like a victim and blaming others. You may feel like you have won your co-workers’ sympathy, but in reality, you did not. You matter, but not that much for others to dwell on your angst. Get over it for their life continues and you are the only one who is left behind.
Focus on the now. Stop reliving the pain of what happened. It is pointless because you can no longer change the past and get that promotion. But if you do better and prove yourself worthy, opportunities will keep knocking on your door. When you focus on doing your best each day of your life, there is no time for you to think about the past anymore.
Many studies have shown that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who do not. Holding on to grudges can harm your health by acting as a chronic stressor. — Melanie Greenberg Ph.D.
Forgiving Others Is About Freeing Yourself. Being able to forgive does not mean you are weak or you are a loser. It just proves that you are strong enough to face the reality of life even if it is something that hurts you. It is to show how good you are as a person and how mature you are to let go and move on. Forgiving is not just about the other party, but forgiving yourself for being shameful of your ability, hurting yourself, and allowing yourself to drown in depression.
Forgiving yourself is an essential ingredient in empowering yourself to be the best version of yourself. It gives you peace no promotion can provide. A wave of peace that can enable you to get back on your feet and live in the present.
Don’t lace your life with inner anger and grudges that can interfere with this peace. It is only you and no one else who will experience the depression and anxiety related to the past which you cannot let go. Let it go and learn the lesson it leaves you.
Having the ability to forgive and let go is your triumph against your own self and no one else’s.