We all know that wanting something in life requires change. Whether it’s for the benefit of our family, friends, or special someone, there’s a need to comply on what life demands from us. No matter how small or big our move is, as long as it creates a difference, it will eventually matter in a lot of ways. The goals that we want to reach is pretty much not that easy. However, perseverance, determination, courage, and motivation always make a struggle seems simple.
The process of empowerment includes cultivation of self-worth; the right to have access to choices, opportunities and resources; the right to have power to control our own lives; and the ability to influence the direction of social change. — Genevieve Gellert, LSW
Why We Always Fail
We Expect Too Much
Our capability to engage in an ongoing process of developing ourselves may not end up on the way we want it. Sometimes, it makes us waste a lot of time because we focus on things we are not supposed to give attention. The reason we fail is due to a lack of concentration on what we want to attain in life. We assume that because we exerted an effort, we will be able to get what we desire. However, we forget to understand that in life, nothing is constant.
A possible way to get rid of the negative attitude is to know where and when to put effort. If something seems unattainable, we should use all our energy in that particular goal. We need to lower down our expectations and become more open about possibilities. Since there’s no way we can determine how things will work out, we can only rely on what’s in front of us. We should never expect anything. Because if we do, it becomes impossible to hold onto something worth our effort.
We Immediately Lose Control
We immediately lose control and let go of our goals because we somehow believe that we’re not worth it. There are times that even if we’re one inch away from success, we become overwhelmed with the situation. From there, we stop working on our progress and eventually, we stop caring at all.
Staying on track of what we want in life is always the key to success. We only need to learn how to say “yes” when the opportunity comes knocking. We also need to practice saying “no” when negativity pushes us away from our objectives. That’s the only two things that will matter when it comes to staying focus. Because if we let ourselves alter these responses, we will end up achieving nothing. We will waste more time and effort finding the right balance and control of our lives.
Admittedly, airing of grievances has a downside because it can aggravate conflicts. Yet, extroverts have better social networks and enjoy better social support from local communities, electronic networks, religious communities, and other organizations that are widely believed to protect health against the ravages of psychological stress. — Nigel Barber Ph.D.
We Find Reasons To Quit
On a broader view, most of us fail because we love the habit of making excuses. That instead of doing things right away, we find time to look for reasons not to start doing something. We use excuses to validate the unwanted habits we have. We depend on it and include it in our daily lives. Though we can never entirely get rid of it because it’s part of how we handle things. We always keep some of it for future purposes. Its instant elimination is way too impossible, so we embrace it and feed on it.
Some say that working things out needs to be accurate. There must be a reason for all the struggle, hardships, and determination we have. That before we give up, we should at least determine why we start aiming for success in the first place. We need to know why we motivate ourselves, why we endure pain and sorrows, and why we want these things present in our lives. The moment we realize the reason for working hard on our goal is the time we can allow ourselves to grow.
We Don’t Start Acting
We believe that empowering ourselves is something we imagine and automatically feel whenever we like it. But, it’s not. The problem with us is we waste time thinking of achieving something but don’t try stepping forward. Many of us don’t realize our capabilities, strength, and greatness. That’s because we don’t spend time knowing ourselves. There’s always a secondary perception that things will not work out because we feel like we can’t do it.
Instead of collecting complains about things around us, we need to start acting. We need to do little changes at least. It might not create an immediate impact today, but it will surely make a difference tomorrow. Every step of change becomes challenging as we continue to act on it. But it’s not something to be cautious about. And as long as we place our heart and soul into our objectives, how we see our lives become our reality.
So, it’s not that the world changes and suddenly becomes a wonderful place—it’s that we become aware of when we’re reacting to what’s happening in the world around us and help ourselves shift to a healthy response. — Cindy Ricardo, LMHC, CIRT
Every goal that we want to obtain requires sacrifices. Sometimes changing the behavior towards things and overcoming negative habits are challenging. But as long as we picture ourselves engaging in the right mindset that everything is achievable, that’s the time that we create something out of the ordinary.