Everybody wants to be happy all the time, and I do, too. But it shocked me when my psychiatrist told me that sometimes, “It’s okay not to be okay!”
It’s natural for us to feel unhappy from time to time and it’s okay to show and express our unhappiness. That is healthy according to my psychiatrist. He said that self-propelled positivity is not always right. Faking it until you make it kind of way will not often work to your advantage, and can even make you feel worse moving forward. When you deny your negative feelings, such as fear, sadness, anxiety, and disappointment, you are passing out on a behavioral guidance system that could be the catalyst for your action to achieve success.
Feeling amazing is an inside job and a prerequisite for a life well lived, not the other way around… — Emma K. Viglucci LMFT
If you are going to skip this process and you will ignore your feelings, it is possible that you will miss out on the chance to improve yourself. You will never know when you should be changing your career because you are no longer happy with what you are doing. You will never be aware of what you really want in a partner if you will keep on avoiding your relationship issues. Faking your emotions will not allow you to learn from the negativity it brings. You will not grow, and you will never learn anything.
Recognize Your Negative Emotions
You can only learn from your loneliness or unhappiness once you recognize it. According to a psychiatrist, you’ll never know what is giving you that feeling in the pit of your stomach unless you’ll know what it is. Being able to name it will allow you to tame it.
It Takes Courage
It is not easy nowadays to show how you honestly feel. It is weird, but it is the reality. Our society today pressures us to be happy and cheerful all the time. We have to keep within us the sucky feeling that is tearing us apart and only show the insincere happiness just to feel a sense of belongingness.
Part of the problem, I’ve come to believe, is that people who search for meaning in their lives often bypass the simpler, and more every day, experiences that usually make up the larger meaning of one’s life. — Suzanne St. John Smith Psy.D.
It can be due to the effect of social media in our lives. Your feelings are sometimes as bogus as the fake news flooding Facebook. It’s true that social media is a happy place, but is also a place where it’s hard to be your real self.
You are always taking a selfie of yourself in the workplace doing the job that makes you feel you suck, excitedly having group photos with people who talk behind your back, doing stuff you don’t actually like. It is a way of presenting the person that is not you just for the sake of showing the world that you are living a life of a YOLO.
You Are Doing It All Wrong
Get yourself out of the trap of false positivity. Don’t elevate your social status by wearing a mask and letting yourself suffer from all the pretentions. You may find it at first as a happiness booster when people give you positive comments, but let me remind you: It is not you that they are praising, it is not you that they admire, because it is not your reality. It is the pretentious you that people love.
When someone asks you how are you doing, it is okay to say “The situation is not so great now, but I know it will be in time.” Here are you, telling someone that you’re not doing so good, but still hoping that things will get better.
With low self-esteem, we don’t value our own opinions, needs, and ideas as much as those of other people. We’re self-critical and focus on our perceived weaknesses and flaws, yet ignore or dismiss our strengths, skill, and success. — Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT
In all of us, there’s a time when we will feel down, but with the hope that is innate in us, we believe that our situation will get better. And this will only happen if we will recognize how we genuinely feel and do something about it. If you do not get yourself out of the trap, you might be buried there alive.
My psychiatrist wants me not to worry, but he is permitting me to be unhappy. Because according to him, real success and genuine happiness can only be achieved by being true to yourself and the people around you, knowing your limitations and accepting your flaws, and doing something about them.