Counselor-Approved Ways To Move Past A Messy Relationship


Everyone had always praised our family for being close-knitted and knowing about each other deeply in our community. Hence, you could imagine the hurt and disbelief that we experienced when we learned that my little sister had been hiding the fact that she had cohabitated with a married man.

How We Found Out

It was my sister’s birthday, and my parents wanted to surprise her. She lived in another city because of her job and could not come home to celebrate it with us, so mom and dad thought of bringing the party to her. We knew where she kept her spare key, so we felt that we could easily sneak in and jump out and sing her the happy birthday song as soon as she comes home.

When we reached my sister’s apartment, my father noticed that her door was unlocked. As he retired cop, he concluded that someone could be robbing my sister’s place at that moment. He made us go behind him as he opened the door, but we all got the surprise of our lives when we saw my sister cooking with a very naked man in her kitchen.

My sister saw us immediately, and the guy hurried to cover himself up with an apron. My mother was too shocked to talk, but my father wanted answers. He was more conservative than the mom, after all. He made my sister, and I promise to get married before shacking up with a guy. Thus, once the unknown guy came out dressed, my dad asked him when he planned on doing right by my sister.


The thing was, the man turned pale and could not open his mouth. I thought my father’s question surprised him, but my sister revealed that they could not get married because he was already married to someone else.

“So, are they separated?” I asked.

When my sister shook her head now, I felt the need to close my eyes and count to 10 to keep myself from cursing. This revelation meant two things: 1) these two were committing adultery, and 2) my sister fully consented to it. 

My dad, furious, wanted the man to leave immediately and never come back. However, my sister stood her ground and told us to go because she was doing what she wanted. On our way out, I told her that I hoped karma would not bite her in the ass since she was committing a mortal sin.

When She Returned Home

I received a text from my sister six months later, asking if she could come home. She was afraid of going straight to my parents because they might still be mad at her.


In reality, I who is more furious at my sister than mom and dad. They disrespected my parents with their sinfulness and did not dare to apologize for it. Still, I knew that my parents would be happy if she would return home, so I said yes.

As soon as she stepped into the house, crying, we knew that something was wrong. Play sister told us that her boyfriend no longer wanted to do anything with her because his wife was already pregnant with their first child. I wanted to yell, “Don’t you hear how twisted that statement is?” But I stopped myself from doing so. As a counselor, I knew the importance of not being judgmental, especially when the person in distress was beginning to open up. But since I was also human and a frustrated sister, I could not help myself from thinking of that.

Counseling Someone Freshly Out Of A Messy Relationship

When it was only my sister and me in the living room, she asked if she could sign up for counseling. Although I was still upset with her awful decisions in life, I admired her willingness to move on from everything.

The next day, we talked some more, and my sister said that she knew her relationship with a married man would never end well. But she did not feel like she could find another guy who would like her for her, so she grew to love him despite his marital status.


As I was listening to my sister, I realized that she had some insecurities. It did not seem like she was aware of them, but it did not mean they were not there, affecting her judgments. I informed her of my analysis, and she said that it made total sense.

In the next few weeks, my sister and I worked hard to build her self-esteem. It was not a cakewalk, I should tell you. It turned out that my sister was also scared of being called a failure in anything, so we had to deal with that as well. Even my parents got involved in the process, and it somehow turned into a group counseling activity.

We decided to make a cake for every milestone during my sister’s healing journey for positive reinforcement. We did it when she deleted the guy’s number, blocked him on all social media platforms, threw away all the mementos from their time together, and could finally talk about her past relationship without choking up or longing to be with that guy.

It was a teachable experience – one that every woman should learn from. Being in a relationship with a married man is never good, ladies – please remember that.

Counselor-Approved Online Safety Tips Post-Breakup

When I was still in my first year in college, taking up psychology, I already prepared myself for years of dealing with people with various mental health disorders. It’s what I wanted to do ever since my father had depression when I was a child and saw how much he suffered because of it. His behavior and way of thinking only changed two years after he met the right psychologist.

During my on-the-job training, I immersed myself in a mental health facility where I experienced first-hand what it was like to help diagnose a new patient and find a way for them to get better. During that time, I decided to become a licensed counselor after getting my license to practice psychology. This meant practically a decade of studying and working my **** off to pay for my grad school and post-grad school.


Once I opened my own clinic downtown, I expected the routine to be the same. Meaning, I would get several clients a day who need help finding out if they have depression, anxiety, eating disorder, or another type of mental illness. They would challenge my intellect and push me to become a better psychologist and counselor. Since my opening, it happened a few times, but I noticed more people – women especially – who would come for mental help after breaking up with their boyfriends or spouses.

The problems I heard always had a similar plot. For instance, the guy who had the habit of cheating on his girlfriend or wife finally called it quits, and the abandoned girlfriend or wife would feel devastated or almost suicidal because they could not accept the breakup. In other cases, the woman lost her mind because the guy she broke up with threatened to post their intimate pictures and videos on the internet if she would not get back to him. The ages of the women who would come to me for help always varied, but their issues were practically the same.

My advice for the first case was always to see the break up in a positive way. Imagine if the guy who kept on giving you worries left voluntarily; it meant you are finally free from the relationship that bound you to him. They made the decision that you could not make, and you should be thankful for it. The loss of the connection may feel foreign to you, but singlehood may be a blessing in disguise, especially if you have been with a toxic person for a while.


As for those women who are scared out of their wits due to the possibility of their naked bodies or sexual acts going in public, the reality is that only law enforcement can help prevent that from happening at this point. You can call the police and inform them about your ex’s threats so that they can resolve the issue immediately. All I’ll be able to do is listen to your woes, help you overcome the possible trauma that the breakup may have caused you, and teach you how to avoid being in the same situation again.

Still, from one woman to another, here are some online safety tips that ladies in love tend to forget.

Avoid Sharing Passwords To Your Boyfriend

Password sharing is more reasonable to do between spouses. You have chosen to tie the knot and spend your life together, after all. It entails that you don’t need to hide stuff like that from each other.


However, if you are only in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, please try to avoid sharing your passwords. This advice is also applicable to men. Even if you do so to prove that you have nothing to hide, you are still not married – you technically do not know what your partner is capable of doing if you ever split with them.

Do Not Agree To Make Intimate Videos

As mentioned above, many of my clients worried about their sex tapes being seen by other people. That pushed some of them to reconcile with their exes – but only to be abused again emotionally or physically. Then, they would come to counselors or psychologists again for mental help when they could no longer handle the stress.

Well, you would have had a clean break if you did not agree to make intimate videos in the first place. It may have been fun and exciting while you are doing it, but you cannot gain fame or money because of it unless you are not Kim Kardashian.


Stay Away From Guys Who Force You To Do Either Or Both

It will also be ideal for running in the opposite direction once the man starts to pressure you to do either or both. It is okay to ask about passwords or sex tapes once – men are both curious and naughty – but it is never a positive sign if they cannot accept that no means no.

In such cases, please do yourself a favor and end the relationship before the man could blackmail you and make you do things you’d regret later.

Final Thoughts

Being in love with and being loved by someone can be the best feeling in the world. However, it is always ideal for assessing whether your relationship is still healthy. If the man cherishes you and does not use blackmail or self-pity to get their way, you are in luck – that man is a keeper. If they do the opposite, though, you better leave him before you get hurt.


Frequently Asked Questions About The Psychology Of Resilience

It is normal for a person to experience downfall, mishaps, and shortcomings. Losses and defeats can happen to people regardless of age or social position, whether on a school test, work quota, or weight loss. But what sets most people apart when they experience these insurmountable failures is their capability to stand up, grow, and become stronger and better. 

People who overcome challenges to become a better version of themselves owe it all to their resilience.


What Is Resilience?

In psychology, resilience refers to the trait or quality that helps or motivates people to move forward and become better after facing a difficult situation, relationship problem, or some big and major shortcoming.

Resilient people capitalize on their strengths and capabilities in handling their present challenges and recovering from recent life failures. Rather than falling short, accepting inadequacy, and letting failures overcome their lives, people with high resiliency levels always have a plan to achieve their long-term or short-term goals despite these struggles.

Opposite to that, those with low resiliency levels can be very pessimistic, uninterested, or defeated when facing their failures. They might have more complicated ways to deal with their problems. They are unable to see road bumps as an opportunity to improve themselves.

Resilience is one of the most important concepts or themes in positive psychology. It motivates a person to bounce back and achieve greater success in their lives.

However, you should not confuse resilience with grit and mental toughness. Resilience is more narrowly defined as a construct, and it entails bouncing back from failures rather than steering away from the possibility of having one.

How Is Resilience Formed?

Psychologists believe that a lot of factors can contribute to resilience. But they mostly argue that resilience is a common human strategy that is innate and natural. Optimism, which is another innate characteristic, creates a more effective barrier that can block the negative impacts of stress from aggravating one’s memory in the long term. This sense of filtering can help a person get back on track faster, leading to a more cool-headed, regulated, and productive mindset.

Social factors and involvement with people can help figure out how to be resilient. Good mental well-being and being able to communicate with your peers can help improve resilience. Holding on to one’s capabilities in facing failures may be rooted in having a supportive and affectionate family and friends.

Uncontrollable factors such as genes or personal experiences also play a significant factor in building resilience. 

If you want to know more about resilience, psychology, and how you can use it to your advantage, check out the handy FAQ written below.


What is resilience, According to Psychology?  

According to psychology, resilience is the process of adjusting well in the face of challenges, tragedy, threat, trauma, or stress – such as relationship problems, family conflicts, critical health problems, or financial or workplace stressors.

What is resilience theory?

The resilience theory disputes that it is not inherent adversity that is most crucial, but how a person deals with it. When we go through adversity, frustration, or tragedy, reliance helps us in bouncing back. It helps us in our journey through recovery and survival, particularly in misfortune, although it is not all there is to it.

What are the five skills of resilience?

Below are the seven skills of resilience:

  • Foster a belief in your capability to cope.
  • Talk about the problems that you’re going through.
  • Keep in touch with family, friends, and other sources of support.
  • Nurture a survivor attitude.
  • Find meaning in your life.
  • Try to maintain positive emotions.
  • Foster a helpful attitude.

What is resilience, and why is it important?  

Resilience is the capacity of a person to endure adversity and recover from stressful and devastating life events. Resilience is vital because it provides a person the strength required to go through and surpass hardship. People who lack resilience are easily overwhelmed and may respond with unhealthy coping strategies. 

What are the five pillars of resilience?

The five pillars of resilience include mindfulness, purpose, self-awareness, positive relationships, and self-care.

What are the three categories of resilience?

The classifications of resilience include adaptive resilience, natural resilience, and restored resilience.

What are the 7 C’s of resilience?

The seven Cs of resilience are as follows:

  • Competence
  • Control
  • Connection
  • Contribution
  • Confidence
  • Coping
  • Contribution

What makes a person resilient?

A resilient person is aware of his circumstances, his emotional responses, and the nature of the people around him. Another attribute of resilience is the comprehension that life is filled with challenges. Resilient people know that while they cannot avoid most problems, they can remain flexible, open, and capable of adapting to change.

How do I know if I am resilient?

Indeed, resilience can make or break a person. Being resilient implies that you can recover from adversity or disappointment and be able to respond positively. Your positivity and a sense of self-efficacy will serve you well.

What are signs of resilience?  

Here are some of the most common signs that you are a resilient person:

  • You have self-awareness.
  • You hold yourself responsible for your actions.
  • You acknowledge that you can’t possibly plan everything.
  • You are capable of taking care of yourself.
  • You are not scared of asking for help from others.
  • It is not your habit of comparing yourself to other people.

What are examples of resilience?

An instance that would signify resilience is many Americans’ reaction following the terrorist attack last September 11 and the people’s individual efforts to heal and bounce back. Exhibiting resiliency does not essentially mean that you have not gone through pain, difficulty, or devastation. 

What are three ways to build resilience?

Below are some ways to cultivate resilience:

  • Try not to think of problems as undefeatable.
  • Establish connections.
  • Take positive action.
  • Seek opportunities to discover yourself.
  • Acknowledge that change is part and parcel of life.
  • Be inspired to achieve your goals.
  • Practice positivity.

Is resilience a skill or quality?

Resilience is a distinct skill, as it is so described by response and attitude. It is an adaptive manner of thought that has to be established slowly and strategies for enhancing a person’s initial reaction to something unpleasant or unwanted.


Resilience immensely affects a person’s mindset and general disposition, making it a vital trait for us to have. Resilience is a skill that can be learned, taught, and developed. It is not an inborn or innate trait. Developing resilience early in life will help you overcome any setback that comes your way.

When beginning your journey towards resilience, you need to reassess your perspectives and use your mind’s flexibility to see problems differently and on a more positive note. Do not forget that it is okay to ask for help from peers or people you trust the most. Talk with them and be open with your struggles. Resilience develops when you acknowledge your difficulties and begin to see the possibilities of bouncing back from your problems.

Resilience also helps you have better perspectives in life. Remember the five pillars of resilience and how they provide you with a mentality that won’t easily give in to problems. Recall previous situations of adversity and evaluate whether you have exhibited resilience. If you did, keep this kind of response in mind for future reference; if you didn’t, think about how you can better respond to the situation and remember this. It is always good to have some form of reflection or reference when faced with adversity.

Building resilience from scratch is not an easy thing to do. It may take time before you see personal changes. But with the right mindset and support group, it is not impossible to achieve. 

Frequently Asked Questions About Being Depressed

I knew it was my mental health that keeps me from living my life the way I wanted. I knew it all along. I was certain that things in my life, though my decisions’ results bound some, have a lot to do with my depression. Everything I do rely mostly on my symptoms, which makes me very devastated and unhappy.

But why am I depressed? Truthfully, that is also the question I wanted some answers to. It is not like my life is a total mess. Honestly, I have a loving family and friends that always keep me company. There is no such time that these lovable individuals made me feel alone. They kept on ensuring that I stay emotionally and mentally okay.


Aside from that, I am not prone to stress at all. When there are things I know I can’t handle, I let them go. I don’t stick or pay too much attention to things that do not matter to me because I believe that whatever happens, all I can rely upon are my own thoughts and feelings. And not to brag, I do not easily get distracted by negativity. I can say that I somehow mastered the art of not giving a damn about the things that can bring my overall wellness down.

But recently, things are a bit different. I felt so irritated that I don’t want to deal with other people’s bullshit. It is as if I got so fed up with all this positivity and rushed into the things I usually avoided. I became too drawn into isolation that I never genuinely understand why. All I can entirely think of is that I suddenly felt tired of being strong that I allowed myself to become vulnerable. I reached the point that I don’t feel like myself anymore. It is as if I was lonely and empty for a long time, and I didn’t know it.

I know a lot about depression. This particular thing that is happening to me is exactly why I always try my best to keep myself emotionally and mentally stable. Unfortunately, I missed out on some important details and went straight ahead of getting depressive symptoms. How did I figure it out? Well, these frequently asked questions might answer that for you.

What is the number 1 cause of depression? 

The number one cause of depression is the changes in the brain. In fact, depression is an entirely complicated mental health problem due to its multiple causes. Usually, factors like genetic vulnerability, substance abuse, severe life stressors, some medications, and medical conditions can affect the way your brain. It is significantly important to note the signs and symptoms so you can seek professional help immediately.

 Who is most likely to endure and suffer from depression? 

The majority of people who usually suffer from depression are those ages are 45 to 65. However, studies show that those in the middle age, 24 to 30, are getting on top of the curve. But still, the results are not limited to these individuals as some research shows that teens are now reaching a high percentage of severe depressive cases.

 What are the nine causes of depression?

The nine fundamental causes of depression are stressful major life events, sexual and emotional abuse, conflict and relationship issues, drugs and alcohol abuse, death or loss of a loved one, genetics, certain medications, serious health problems, and other lingering personal issues. Note that these factors affect people differently. Thus, the kind of coping strategies and treatments also vary.

 Can you inherit depression?

One contributing factor to depression is genetics. Thus, it is known to run in families. The mental health condition is traceable because research has shown that an individual with siblings and parents who have depression is more likely to have the condition up to three times more. That is because the dysfunction associated with the mental health problem comes from the disruption of different genes.

 Can depression change your personality?

A study once concluded that any self-reported personality traits changes often come from a typical episode of major depression. However, in some recent studies, experts determine that such personality change occurs following more chronic, severe, or recurrent episodes of depression. That is because mental illness targets negative and positive emotionality, as well as conscientiousness. Thus, when there is dysfunction, it makes people think, act, and behave differently.

 What are the risks of depression?

The common risks of depression include genetics. A family history of depression can make it more likely to contribute to someone’s mental problem. Also, death or the loss of someone you love is a risk factor as it sometimes triggers emotional imbalance from extreme sadness and grief. Conflict also adds. It promotes misunderstanding, confusions, agitation, disappointments that often cause overthinking that damages the brain. Then there is abuse. Any past experiences with physical, sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse can trigger depressive symptoms.

Is depression more common in males or females?

Depression can occur at any age and gender. But unfortunately, women are nearly twice as much more likely to suffer from severe depression than men. That is due to the female hormones contributing a lot to a more longer-acting and easily activated depressive response.


 What does a mental breakdown look like?

A breakdown is an extreme mental or emotional stress that is different from one person to another. People experience mental health issues differently. However, the general population shares the same experience most of the time. Thus, their mental breakdown often gives them extreme mood swings or unexplained outbursts, panic attacks, chest pain, shakiness, and difficulty breathing. It also gives some people hallucinations, extreme fear, and paranoia, which eventually detaches from reality and self.

 What usually happens to your body when you are sad? 

Like any other emotion, extreme sadness can alter levels of stress-related opioids in the brain. This particular change increases levels of inflammatory proteins in the blood that can potentially increase the risk of diseases such as stroke, heart disease, and metabolic syndrome. In some instances, sadness, when it gets uncontrollable, often creates physical symptoms such as irritable bowel syndrome, muscle pain, stomachaches, and headaches.

 What age group has the highest incidence of depression? 

The age group that has the highest rate of depression is usually young adults. These are the ones aged 18-25 years old. Unfortunately, there is no age group over 25 with a higher 10% depression rate than the younger groups. That is due to the increasing rates of affected college-age adults whose ages are 20 to 21 who suffer from multiple stress types during their college years.

 What is the hardest mental illness to live with? 

The hardest mental illness to live with is Borderline personality disorder. Aside from its hard-to-diagnose symptoms, the disorder usually overlaps with many other health conditions such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and even eating disorders. Though one can recognize an ingrained pattern of varying behavior, distorted sense of self, long-term pattern of unstable relationships, and strong emotional reactions, a borderline personality disorder can still get misdiagnosed. Thus, it often gets untreated.

 Which race considers the highest rate of depression? 

Hispanics race has the highest rate of depression, with 10.8%. African Americans follow them with 8.9% and Whites at 7.8%.

 What country is almost suicidal? 

The countries with the most distinguished suicide death rate worldwide are Guyana, Russia, Lithuania, and South Korea. Suicide rates of men are much higher among women in these countries. That is surprising since women are more prone to emotional and mental turmoil.

 Which country has the most suicidal deaths in 2019? 

Countries with the highest rates of suicidal deaths in 2019 are Ukraine, South Korea, Lithuania, Russia, Belarus, Guyana, Kazakhstan, and Suriname.

 How does race affect depression?

Depression is associated with different factors, and race has nothing to do with it. However, depression was more common among people of minority groups. There is an elevated rate of mental health problems among minority individuals due to greater health burdens, poor economic status, and lack of health insurance.


Final Thought

I realized about this situation right now that no matter how much positivity you have in your mind and body, you will eventually fall back or break down. It is a fact. That despite trying so hard to keep everything in place, you will still somehow end up losing control over your emotional and mental health. Depression can crawl up any time, even if you think you are on your best self.


Frequently Asked Questions About Boosting Self-Esteem Through Therapy Groups

Above all else, our relationship with ourselves holds the most importance on how we progress through life. However, with the advent of media and technology, we became more exposed to things we can compare ourselves to. As a result, it impacts our confidence and self-esteem, thinking that we fall behind others.

Self-esteem draws on the outlook we have with ourselves. It’s how we see ourselves as someone valuable and worthy of respect. While it is a natural human attribute, it exists on a spectrum that can either be high or low.

People with high self-esteem have confidence in themselves. Meanwhile, people with low self-esteem often doubt and criticize themselves; they see themselves as inferior compared to others.


Having low self-esteem can impact your overall well-being. It can even extend to your life and relationships. It can also intervene with your daily activities and destroy your focus out of fear of judgment.

Because you don’t trust yourself, you avoid making goals and trying something new. In the worst-case scenario, this low self-regard can translate to destructive behaviors.

Over time, the self-criticization can become ingrained in your mind that you start seeing them as fact. And when this continues, it can be damaging to your mental and emotional health. As such, low self-esteem can also be a sign of various mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc.

However, there are effective ways to reconnect to our own being and worthiness deeply. One of the best methods to do this is to create connections that will help you heal. This is where group therapy comes in.

Group therapy offers a safe environment for low self-esteem people to learn more about themselves and learn from others. As you share your struggles with people dealing with the same situation, it helps you develop healthy coping tools—all these without the fear of judgment and criticism that you’re saying or doing something wrong.

Moreover, you get to build your self-awareness, which is the most crucial key to developing your self-esteem. It will help you find your voice while creating healthy relationships in the process. Group therapy will also introduce you to various strategies and practices to transition to a growth mindset.

What are the different types of group counseling?

The six different group counseling types include psychotherapy groups, cognitive therapy groups, dynamic group therapy, psychoeducational group therapy, self-help groups, and network therapy.

What are the 4 types of talk therapy?

There are several types of talk therapy. Among them, the four most common ones include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), counseling, interpersonal therapy (IPT), and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT).

What are the 3 types of therapy?

Therapy is narrowed down into three broad categories: clinically speaking, supportive, directive, and relational. Psychotherapy or talk therapy falls under the first type. From the name itself, it is meant to be supportive of your battle against mental disorders. A directive type of therapy includes cognitive-behavioral therapy or any therapy based on a patient’s behavioral patterns. Lastly, relational therapy is often interventional, like in family or group therapies.

How many types of therapists are there?

There are three therapist types. First is the psychiatrist, who is more focused on applying medication management through therapies. Second is the psychologist, who is more inclined to do clinical research about mental disorders. Lastly is the psychotherapist, referring to any psychologist or psychiatrist with a specialization in psychotherapy.

Other specialties have appeared depending on the area of expertise of a licensed medical professional. For example, there is an addiction therapist, child therapist, nutritional therapist, or trauma therapist. Clinical social workers and mental health counselors are also considered therapists.

What is the ideal size for a therapy group?

Research indicates that the smaller the group, the better and more effective therapy will be. It is recommended that one or two certified mental health professionals oversee a group therapy of no more than 15 individuals.

How do I start a therapy group?


Starting a therapy group may initially be challenging. Since it is essential to meet the clients’ requirements, it is vital to group them based on their shared values and other similarities, making sure they are a good fit.

It is also critical to have uninterrupted space for the sessions. Limiting the distractions helps in improving the effectiveness of the therapy. Above all, it is necessary to set clear and concise objectives and goals for the group at the beginning of the treatment.

Which type of therapy makes the most money?

Based on recent statistics, a sports psychologist whose primary focus is a particular type of psychotherapy involving sports makes the most money.

Most athletes are not only vulnerable to physical health issues but as well as mental instability and problems. Athletes are well compensated in their fields, and the same way goes for their doctors and health professionals.

What type of therapy is used for depression?

Depression treatment heavily relies on psychotherapy or talk therapy. This type of therapy resolves a patient’s issues by discussing them out loud, helping the therapist find the right techniques or modalities to use.

What is the most common type of therapy?

Psychotherapy or talk therapy is the most common type of therapy. It allows patients to freely talk out their minds, emotions, and issues without having to worry about judgment or being labeled as crazy. Although it is also often used as a blended approach with other types such as cognitive behavioral therapy.

How long should a group therapy session last?

Usually, a patient should complete a group session in no more than 20 weeks of meeting, an hour or two per week. However, it is not also highly unusual for people to stay in group therapies even after their sessions have ended.

What are process groups in therapy?

Process groups in therapy are, in simpler words, support groups. They are specifically designed to help individuals connect with other people who bear the same problems as they are. The process group’s primary focus is to give the patients a safe space to create meaningful relationships and encourage them.

What is the goal of group therapy?

The goal of group therapy is to unite the members to know that they are not alone in their battles. It gives a sense of belongingness, feelings of comfort and creates hope in each individual.



Low self-esteem may develop in different ways. It can root from adverse childhood experiences or a particular situation that left a mark on the child. The manner of upbringing is a huge factor in determining their self-esteem growing up. They may internalize these negative messages that later on will become instilled in their minds.

It can also develop in adulthood from demoralizing circumstances such as job loss and breakup, among others. Once these things happen, it affects how an individual sees their worth. As a result, they develop negative self-talk patterns and destructive coping tools to find an escape.

The first step towards healing is to recognize and acknowledge your situation. It may not be easy to start dipping your toes in the water, especially without a support system. Thus, connecting with a group of people in the same situation as yours can give you the push you need.

With time and effort, the stories and skills you will learn in group therapy will help you develop a healthy self-relationship.

Always remember: you are not alone in your struggle. There is support available out there that is waiting for you. Moreover, having a professional to guide you can help you address what lies behind your low self-esteem. In this process, you will learn more about your voice and how you can empower it.

By developing a resilient mindset, you can start living a more fulfilling life without hiding from the world.

How Busy Moms Can Balance Family And Work




Busy moms are tough. Being responsible for taking care of the family while committed to working full time are two difficult tasks that these moms must take on. It can be daunting and thankless, plus the fact that they are often perceived as not completely present as a mother and as an employee as well. However, this doesn’t have to be the case.

Fortunately, many moms who juggle with their career and family have successfully found the balance that works for everyone. These are the empowered moms that have found a place in the successful world of business and family life. And these tips below are a collection of what they have been doing to help you make work and family life easier and happier for you too.


Communicate Openly With Your Boss

If you want to make sure that you remain a productive worker while being a great mom, there should be open communication between you and your boss. Moms are usually the chief parent, particularly when the kids don’t feel well, or they have a checkup with their doctor. She is typically responsible for picking them up from school just right after they are done with work. This is why busy moms require more space and flexibility in their schedules. The essential thing to do is to communicate your family needs to your boss and suggest ways in which you can continue doing your job as best you can.

Empowered moms have never used their kids to slack off from work, and you won’t too. Let’s hope your boss will be considerate and admire your transparency and commitment to your job and your family.


Minimize Distractions

For the working mom, time is gold. When you are at work, be aware of the time that you spend talking with your co-employees and ask yourself if it’s contributing positively to your productivity. Don’t take long lunch breaks and don’t take too much time surfing online. When you’re at home, on the other hand, commit to spending quality time with your spouse and children instead of talking on the phone or watching television on your own. Make sure your counted hours at home are meaningful.

Rekindle Your Bond With Your Spouse

The secret to living happily at home begins with a harmonious marriage. Prioritize your relationship with your partner because it does have a tremendous impact on the rest of the aspects of your life. If it is possible, hire a nanny or once a week so that you can have a date with your partner, doing the things that you haven’t been able to do since you got married or you had a family. Plan new activities together, like hiking, joining a painting class, or other exciting or unique things to do. Always make it a point to have a quiet and honest conversation with your spouse, especially talking about your relationship and what you can do to make it stronger.

Organize Your Schedule By Utilizing Calendars And Lists

The mental stress that busy moms take on is an obligation that no other person can understand. If you are one of them, then you know that you are in charge of monitoring doctor’s appointments, attending parent-teacher meetings, listing birthdays, keeping track of what clothes and things the kids need, knowing what you lack pantry and fridge, and making sure the toilets never lack toilet paper, among other things.

To organize your home and work responsibilities, use your phone calendar or a notebook to list your schedule on. This will take away much of the mental stress that you are going through every single day. Google Keep and the notepad on your phones are among the most commonly used apps by busy moms.


Share The Chores With Family

The problems related to housework must not fall exclusively on the mother’s shoulders. This is an aspect that is not difficult for your spouse to help you with, particularly if you have certain tasks that only you know how to do (e.g., letting the baby sleep, breastfeeding).

If you have older kids, assign simple chores to them to learn to practice good habits at an early age and contribute something good to the family. Another great idea is to spend money on cleaning services. It may be difficult to justify spending cash on something that perhaps you can do better yourself, but if it means fulfilling your wife’s obligations, then so be it.

Don’t Expect Too Much

Because empowered busy moms want only the best, they tend to expect too much from themselves, but this only causes them more stress and anxiety. They worry if they are not able to cook homemade food every day or keep the house spic and span while keeping up with being the top employee of the month. But you don’t have to have high expectations for yourself all the time.

If you don’t expect too much, you will realize that there are many things that you can get rid of that have only been causing you unnecessary stress. You don’t need to keep your house spotless every time, especially if your guests have kids themselves. For your daily meals, you can steam or put your chicken or pork in the deep fryer instead of baking them. Do the special recipes during the weekends when you have more time to relax and no deadlines to meet. When you’re super busy, it’s totally fine to heat the leftovers once in a while.


The Best At Work And At Home

So can a busy mom be the mom and employee at the same time? Absolutely. It may not be exactly what you planned it to be, but don’t fret. Acknowledge and appreciate all the beautiful things that you do and have, and take family life and work life a day at a time.



Why Taking Initiative Is Ideal For Positive Mental Health


Some people have been told that they need to blend in if they want to get by in life. “The ones who came before you already knew how to live in this moment. All you need to do is follow their lead. You will be better for it,” they said.

I used to be a part of the same herd that listened to those individuals. I never had to make difficult decisions from childhood because my parents always decided for me. I believed that doing everything they told me would never lead me astray.

However, I woke up one day and realized that I was living their dream, not mine. People lived through me in some ways that I never realized, and it happened because I allowed it.

This revelation would have consumed my mental health and left me stuck in my head forever, if not for the little voice that told me to start taking the initiative. After all, it could do the following:


It Keeps Know-It-Alls From Running – And Ruining – Your Life

There are so many Mr. and Ms. Know-It-Alls in the world for starters, and they always prey on weak-minded individuals. They have made it their ultimate purpose to tell you everything you should do with your life. If you don’t, and your actions fail, it is easy for them to say, “I told you that my methods are better. You’re a fool for not heeding my advice.”

The reality is that being around such people can be genuinely smothering. They think they are more superior than you, and you may often need to walk on eggshells, even at your own place, to gain their approval.

In case you feel sick of following that routine, you must take the initiative to run your life by yourself. So what if you experience failures because of your decisions? Everybody makes mistakes – even know-it-alls. Not knowing what it feels like to fail may even be detrimental to your mental health.


It Shows That You Know What You Want And How To Get It

There is a thin yet definite line that separates leaders from followers. When a follower wants something, they usually stick to the leader and ask for their guidance or help to achieve it. But when a leader wants something, they go straight for the goal without waiting for anyone to show them how it’s done. Thus, leaders tend to succeed faster than followers.

Is it possible for followers to become leaders someday, you may ask?

Well, of course! Most – if not all – leaders started by following someone more successful than them. They merely managed to level up when they found the courage to change their fate and create a path for themselves. If you can do that, your future will undoubtedly be sweet.


It Feels Great To Know That You Have Accomplished Something On Your Own

I will always believe that “no man is an island.” We are nothing without our friends and family. In truth, even our foes help to shape our mindset and course of action. Despite that, it still feels incredible to know that you are capable of accomplishing whatever you put your mind into if no one else can help you.

For instance, my entire family had been saying that I ought to be a doctor because I was smart. I followed their advice for a while and got into med school, but then I realized that painting was my passion. Since my parents refused to help me unless I finished my degree – the one that no longer suited my dreams – I dropped out and moved out to start painting and looking for art galleries to curate my artworks. I suffered a lot from this decision financially, but if I didn’t take the initiative to realize my life goals, I would still be stuck in the med school.


It Makes You Independent, And That’s Admirable

Independence is another sign that you have positive mental health. After all, if you always need someone to tell you what to do and how you must do it, it probably means that you have low self-confidence. You don’t feel smart or wise enough to try something and think that another person should run your life for you.

But try to become independent for once, and you’ll see that the world is not as scary as you have once thought. Say, if you want to shop for new clothes, do it without waiting for your mother or friend to tell you that it’s okay. In case there is a vacancy for a higher position at work, apply for the job without needing to ask your colleagues for advice.

If you fail, that’s okay. Not taking the initiative is more awful than that.

Final Thoughts

Considering you have never taken the reins of your own life, suck up and do it now. You cannot depend on others to do it for you forever. That’s unhealthy, and perhaps even you know it.


The Perks Of Having Positive Mindset Amidst The Pandemic

Each of us must take a proactive stance against the COVID-19 pandemic. At this moment, we are prone to all sorts of mental and emotional struggles. There is anxiety, stress, sadness, depression, and isolation that are involved in the battle. In some unfortunate instances, some of us are not strong enough to face the challenges right now. With that, a positive mindset becomes essential, especially during this uncertain time.


Looking At Things In A Different View

In line with the issue of Coronavirus, a lot of countries already took the necessary precautions. One of them is the suspension of classes and work. The mandate is issued to keep everyone safe and control the spread of the virus. However, due to the heightened limit of social connection, some individuals develop a sense of isolation. Thus, it becomes hard for others to adjust to the situation. But instead of always thinking that we are stuck at home with nothing to do, shifting our mindset into a positive one can make a difference.

Being locked down in our homes is stressful than we can imagine. But when we positively think about the advantage of home quarantine during this time, we can agree that staying at home can keep us from getting infected. Aside from that, we can focus on spending time with our family, which is a good thing. And for instance, that we are alone, a positive mindset can allow us to view the situation as a window for the opportunity to hone our crafts and develop new skills.


Overthinking About Contamination

The Coronavirus is pretty much contagious. However, worrying too much about that will only make us feel hopeless and unmotivated. When we often tell ourselves that there are too many dangers out there and that we will get sick, the possibility of that happening becomes high. Instead of continually gushing over our fear and anxiety, we can shift our mindset into thinking that there are far better things that we can do to avoid getting an infection.

Shifting our mindset into focusing on the preventive things we can do can allow us to stay cautious but emotionally and mentally balanced. Our self-confidence can soar high when we start believing that we are capable of lowering our chances of getting infected. From that perspective, we can value the weight of social distancing, frequent hand washing, wearing a mask, drinking plenty of water, exercising, and so on.


The Worry Of Having Limited Access

Many businesses are encouraged to close as people get advised to stay indoors because of the sudden spread of the virus. Thus, our access to restaurants, bars, stores, hotels, parks, and others sent a message that convenience is no longer available. That even transportations no longer serve its purpose because of travel restrictions. It somehow makes us feel uncomfortable, and that is why complaints most of the time. We believe we are experiencing the worst nightmare that this lockdown has made.

But shifting that negative outlook to a better one, we can see that most of the important establishments are there to operate and sustain our needs. There are supermarkets, hospitals, and pharmacies. These establishments continue to operate to help us during a difficult time. There are even schools and hotels that offer a safe place for those people who need shelter. So despite our ideology that this lockdown is making things hard for us, having a positive mindset allows us to appreciate other important establishments that never fail to assist and provide our necessary needs.


Having a positive mindset cannot instantly change our situation. However, by doing so, it can allow us to get through life. Learn more about positivity through View some encouraging posts from their Facebook and Instagram profiles.



Why It’s Not Advisable To Get Too Much Confident During This Pandemic Time

Being stuck in a situation that we can’t control can make us mentally and emotionally stable or weak. It all depends on how one of us handles the life crisis caused by this Coronavirus infection. As for some individuals, they live in fear of this pandemic’s uncertainties. There is too much struggle that makes them want to quit already and accept whatever unfortunate thing that could happen to them. However, there are also those people who never seem to care about the worst. These individuals think that this pandemic is a joke and that no single care should be given. But let me tell you some of the reasons why it is not advisable to get too cocky during this time of a global crisis.


If You Get Infected, You die Alone – Many people assume that one of the worst things that can happen to an individual during this whole Coronavirus situation is getting infected. Yes, it can add to the situational problem one needs to deal with, but it’s not its entirety. If you get infected with the virus and unfortunately won’t be able to make it, you can expect to suffer and die alone. No friends or family will be there with you because they might catch the infection. You see, even if you want people to spend time with you during the most challenging days of your lives, they can’t be there. Of course, not unless you also wish your loved ones to experience the physical, emotional, and mental pain you have, then go ahead. Thus, before you disregard following the safety measures, understand that you do not know whether you will get the virus. But one thing is sure; it doesn’t skip infecting an individual.


You May Not Suffer From The Virus, But Others Will – The unfortunate realization about this whole situation is the thought of how selfish people can become. Some individuals don’t care enough to stay away from others, even though they know they are infected. The worst part, they have this mentality that the suffering they have should not have to be their struggle alone. That is why a lot of them desire to infect others with the virus intentionally. There are also those people who do not believe in health danger, not unless they find themselves lying in the hospital bed with ventilators attached to their faces. These are individuals who are too confident about their physical strength despite getting a positive test result. So when they infect the weaker ones, it becomes not their problem anymore.


You Never Know When It Will Hit You – The problem with too much confidence is that you become unaware of the reality around you. It makes you think that what you experience depends only on what you want to believe. But sad to say, the outbreak is real, and there are limited things you can do. Despite your so-called positive attitude, there is no way you can conclude early when this virus will not affect you in any way. With that, you need to see things the way they are, so can you can take necessary actions. If you continue to believe that there is nothing wrong with this situation right now, you might end up losing everything.


This whole pandemic situation is challenging. As much as you want to stay positive all the time, it would be best if you think and respond to situations logically. It is not wrong to keep a positive perspective. However, never underestimate this global health crisis because you never calculate its damage.