When I was still in my first year in college, taking up psychology, I already prepared myself for years of dealing with people with various mental health disorders. It’s what I wanted to do ever since my father had depression when I was a child and saw how much he suffered because of it. His behavior and way of thinking only changed two years after he met the right psychologist.
During my on-the-job training, I immersed myself in a mental health facility where I experienced first-hand what it was like to help diagnose a new patient and find a way for them to get better. During that time, I decided to become a licensed counselor after getting my license to practice psychology. This meant practically a decade of studying and working my **** off to pay for my grad school and post-grad school.
Once I opened my own clinic downtown, I expected the routine to be the same. Meaning, I would get several clients a day who need help finding out if they have depression, anxiety, eating disorder, or another type of mental illness. They would challenge my intellect and push me to become a better psychologist and counselor. Since my opening, it happened a few times, but I noticed more people – women especially – who would come for mental help after breaking up with their boyfriends or spouses.
The problems I heard always had a similar plot. For instance, the guy who had the habit of cheating on his girlfriend or wife finally called it quits, and the abandoned girlfriend or wife would feel devastated or almost suicidal because they could not accept the breakup. In other cases, the woman lost her mind because the guy she broke up with threatened to post their intimate pictures and videos on the internet if she would not get back to him. The ages of the women who would come to me for help always varied, but their issues were practically the same.
My advice for the first case was always to see the break up in a positive way. Imagine if the guy who kept on giving you worries left voluntarily; it meant you are finally free from the relationship that bound you to him. They made the decision that you could not make, and you should be thankful for it. The loss of the connection may feel foreign to you, but singlehood may be a blessing in disguise, especially if you have been with a toxic person for a while.
As for those women who are scared out of their wits due to the possibility of their naked bodies or sexual acts going in public, the reality is that only law enforcement can help prevent that from happening at this point. You can call the police and inform them about your ex’s threats so that they can resolve the issue immediately. All I’ll be able to do is listen to your woes, help you overcome the possible trauma that the breakup may have caused you, and teach you how to avoid being in the same situation again.
Still, from one woman to another, here are some online safety tips that ladies in love tend to forget.
Avoid Sharing Passwords To Your Boyfriend
Password sharing is more reasonable to do between spouses. You have chosen to tie the knot and spend your life together, after all. It entails that you don’t need to hide stuff like that from each other.
However, if you are only in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, please try to avoid sharing your passwords. This advice is also applicable to men. Even if you do so to prove that you have nothing to hide, you are still not married – you technically do not know what your partner is capable of doing if you ever split with them.
Do Not Agree To Make Intimate Videos
As mentioned above, many of my clients worried about their sex tapes being seen by other people. That pushed some of them to reconcile with their exes – but only to be abused again emotionally or physically. Then, they would come to counselors or psychologists again for mental help when they could no longer handle the stress.
Well, you would have had a clean break if you did not agree to make intimate videos in the first place. It may have been fun and exciting while you are doing it, but you cannot gain fame or money because of it unless you are not Kim Kardashian.
Stay Away From Guys Who Force You To Do Either Or Both
It will also be ideal for running in the opposite direction once the man starts to pressure you to do either or both. It is okay to ask about passwords or sex tapes once – men are both curious and naughty – but it is never a positive sign if they cannot accept that no means no.
In such cases, please do yourself a favor and end the relationship before the man could blackmail you and make you do things you’d regret later.
Being in love with and being loved by someone can be the best feeling in the world. However, it is always ideal for assessing whether your relationship is still healthy. If the man cherishes you and does not use blackmail or self-pity to get their way, you are in luck – that man is a keeper. If they do the opposite, though, you better leave him before you get hurt.