Hating is such a heavy word to describe someone you don’t quite like. It is also what you sometimes feel when you are bitter and inferior of someone who just achieved success. Most often, haters speak badly about a person in attempts to destroy the reputation of that person. It doesn’t need a therapist or a psychiatrist to tell us that hating somebody is not a good thing. And in the long run, how we deal with other people’s achievements, especially when we are struggling, will measure our character, maturity, and faith in ourselves.
Intentionally attending to what is arising for others breeds empathy and compassion within relationships. There is no object of focus or thing to do that inherently creates happiness, but rather a delicate letting go of self-constructed thoughts, beliefs, or fantasies in order to tap into the richness of the here and now. — Andrew Archer, LCSW
If I were to ask you, what would you do if you someone – friend or foe – surviving and living well and savoring the opportunities, praises, and victories that you have been yearning? The right answer would be that you must learn to be happy with their success. If and when you master the art of genuine joy and happiness for others, you will be empowered when envy and bitterness have no place in your heart. You will be welcoming your future wins. Finally, your doors will be open to more positivity in your life as you express appreciation and joy for others.
Free From Frustration And Anxiety. When you see someone’s success as a failure for you, you are allowing anger and discouragement to creep in. Rather, you should let other people’s wins cultivate hope within you, that your time will soon come.
Better Chances Of Being Happy. Celebrating the success of someone together with friends, family, and even acquaintances create more opportunity to experience good vibes. Learning to applaud them for their victory somehow sincerely helps develop an environment where you can share your future successes and be celebrated as well.
Letting Good Karma Flow. It is a fact that you harvest what you sow. And when you see someone reaping the gifts from his best efforts, you have a choice to congratulate him or walk away feeling all bitter and resentful. When you try and acknowledge his win, you tend to let his good karma flow into you too. You don’t want the bad vibes to get to you, right?
Your Relationship With Others Is Strengthened. You know when your relationships are strong and true when you can share both the good and the bad times with each other. Your loved ones and significant others will want you to be there with them when you are truly happy for them.
You and I may find these things easy to fulfill, but some have trouble doing them. They can’t seem to know where to start. So here are some ideas on how to sincerely express appreciation and happiness for others’ successes.
To not trouble yourself, you need to hold flexible and non-extreme attitudes towards yourself, others, and life itself. — Walter J. Matweychuk Ph.D.
Practicing Happiness For Others
- Make a daily thank you list. Despite how hard you try to be happy for others, you can never express this unless you learn to appreciate what you have in your life. Every day, find time to list the things that you are thankful for and notice the lightness that you feel. If you want to go one level up, tell someone about it. Who knows, he might learn a thing or two from you.
- Learn to be humble by finding ways to give the hero stage to someone else. Observe a nice, hardworking co-employee and give him the spotlight by announcing his breakthroughs in work. Congratulate him and ask him to share how he achieved his success. Appreciate the good work and let the good vibes flow through the workplace.
- Evaluate your anger and jealousy. List the pros and cons of allowing your jealousy to consume you versus being joyful for others. When you feel that you might fail today and give in to the anger, your negative thoughts will be your downfall.
- You can fake it at first, but you’ll make it. This may apply if your ex-husband gets a promotion. Maybe you can congratulate him without much feeling, but better being a little happy than never at all! Perhaps you can’t be truly happy for him, but you can say something kind or courteous.
- Be more generous by showing your happiness to the ones you love. This is much easier because you are already comfortable with them, so start with family and relatives, friends, and significant others. Then you can move on to people outside of your usual circle, like acquaintances or even strangers. It’s not hard to show love and praises to a brother who gets an award than to a neighbor who recently got engaged.
- Learn to be happy for someone even though he succeeded before you. That’s pretty hard stuff, assuming that you should have gotten it first. Think of it as a challenge, celebrate for that person’s victory, and look forward to yours!
Contentment does not mean the absence of desire; it just means you are satisfied with your present, and you trust that the turns your life takes will be for the best. — Jacqueline Pearce, MSEd, LMHC