In changing something in our physical looks, we always ask ourselves which is better. Sometimes we agree that the other way is more confidently beautiful than the other one. Then we feel satisfied when our choice gets validated by people who agree with us. But for those individuals who seem to see nothing good about themselves, the process of appreciating one’s self is uncomfortable. There’s often a buildup of anxiety because they believe things are pretty much horrible either way.
The Journey Of Desire
Though it’s not a good thing to feel frustrated over one’s appearance, there are cases that it does matter. Some mature individuals are often regretting the way their hair falls and even questioning the shape of their nose, eyes, or lips. Some of these individuals are not happy with how they look. They often gaze in the mirror and ask themselves why some of their physical traits seem off-putting. From there, they begin to see everything around them as unappealing and unworthy. That’s perhaps the reason why some of those people who are unhappy with their looks often result in medical procedures. There’s the aim for physical alterations which will soon require severe psychological challenges. There are also some who relies on medications they expect to create an effect on hormonal function. Unfortunately, dealing with the concerns of our appearance has a lot to do with our mental and emotional aspects. Therefore, there’s a need to develop specific wisdom to cope up with the insecurity over one’s physical looks.
If you are not at peace with what you have achieved at your current point in life, it can be more difficult be motivated to work toward a better future. — Jacqueline Pearce, MSEd, LMHC
One way a lot of us experience problems in getting a hold of our insecurities is because we don’t allow disappointments to feed our love for beauty. Yes, people know that every individual is physically different. However, they can’t seem to understand that not because they don’t look as physically pleasing as others, they are not equally as beautiful as them. There’s this perception that everything those “good looking people” do is a desire and not an inspiration. It starts to become a goal which in some unfortunate cases results in depression, eating disorders, anxiety, pressure, and stress.
People who don’t like their physical appearance look at their selves painfully. It is as if new images of themselves bring more guilt, regret, desperation, and extreme desire to change. Admittedly, this is not crazy and bad at all. That’s because as human beings, we care about our looks significantly because everyone in society judges us by those physical attributes. People determine the instant response through visual representation where it somehow creates an impression. We have to understand that it’s not our problem. It is society’s growing issue with personal validation.
Think back to a time when you felt overwhelmed with joy, for example, and feel that feeling in your body … and get used to it! — Allison Abrams, LCSW
The Fair Challenge
The world gets dominated by an unfair hierarchy of things. Therefore, it doesn’t support or restore justice in an instant. The insecurity that a person feels about himself is more likely the result of what he also believes is essential to achieve. There is this idea that what others picture as physically attractive becomes a standard. So when there is a slight difference in the physical attributes which incomparable to the ones on top, it becomes a reject. But it’s always best to consider that most people who belong to the top group also find themselves unpleasing. Meaning all will end in good faith that everyone around will feel unhappy about themselves with only a matter of time. That is because looks will eventually fade and time will stop its enchantment.
However, rather than saying appearance doesn’t matter at all, it is much better to try noticing the less obvious. There are a lot of real beauties around us that we don’t often pay attention to. We can be happy with a lot of things, and that’s good for our mental health. It is okay to think that appearance adds significant value to a person’s overall wellbeing, but it is not a total representation of who we are. When we start to look at beauty in different ways, we will realize that there are so many admirable and attractive physical qualities that each person can have. Therefore, we need to less love appearance and stop focusing on the narrow range of “standardized” physical attributes and features.
Ask yourself, what’s the worse case that I’m envisioning, how likely is it that this will actually happen, what will my contingency plan be if it’s not going well? The act of speaking it aloud takes away the power. — Laura J. Jordan, MA, LPC, LMFT